My Love
by Sailor ZZZ
Summary: The princess of Mars reflects on her love, past, present, and future. Yuri-licious One-shot.


Summary: The princess of Mars reflects on her love, past, present, and future. Yuri-licious One-shot.

Disclaimer #1: Sailor Moon and all related characters and concepts are not mine. It's taken some time, but I have come to accept this

Disclaimer #2: This is a yuri story. Girl / Girl love only.

**My Love**

_By_

Sailor Z

When I arrived on the Moon Kingdom, the Lunar Princess herself came to greet me at the base of the palace steps. My first impression of her was one of great beauty and, appropriately enough, serenity. She descended like a white goddess, as she was rumored to be, from her shining silver palace. She moved with a grace and pride befitting her noble lineage. The Earth-light reflecting from the massive crystal arches behind her bathed her in a heavenly halo that made her appear almost ethereal, like some perfect dream.

This illusion was soon shattered when, nearing the end of her graceful decent, Princess Serenity III, heir to the throne of the entire Silver Millenium, stepped on her own beautiful, but much too long, silver hair. In a terribly miscalculated effort to save the young woman whom I would soon be pledging my loyalty and life to, I dashed forward to catch her as she stumbled down the last of the steps and towards the ground. It was then that I discovered just how hard her head really was.

Our foreheads collided with enough force to not only knock me down onto my back, but daze me long enough to leave me somewhat confused when I found myself on the ground. My head hurt….a lot….and not just from the collision with my fair princess, or from the ensuing collision with the ground. There was a loud and piercing wailing sound assaulting my ears and ringing in my aching skull. It was a sound I would come to be very familiar with. It was the sound of the girl who would one day soon be the most powerful woman in the solar system crying her eyes out like a hungry infant calling for its mother. The admittedly crude reprimand that I shouted at her upon sitting up straight did not seem to help the matter.

Despite our first encounter, and many, _many_, similar incidents, I eventually found myself growing fond of the princess. Her foolish optimism, ridiculous enthusiasm for…_everything_ and her boundless energy, all of which annoyed me to no end at first, somehow endeared her to me in a way I still don't fully understand. I became so fond of her in fact that, for a time, I thought perhaps I might be in love with my pig-tailed charge. Why wouldn't I be? She was rich and powerful, young and beautiful, and had a zest for life that was matched by none I had ever met. Her kindness and empathy towards her people and all other living things was as refreshing as it was inspiring. And although I'd never admit it to her, her rose tinted view of the world was infectious at times, and a part of me truly yearned to see the world as she did.

And so, for these reasons and too many more to count, I came to love Princess Serenity…but I was not _in_ love with her. I loved her in a way that all my fellow senshi loved her. I loved her with all of my heart in a way that was no less real or significant than the love of anyone who had ever loved a spouse, or mate, or partner. I could never love anyone more than I loved her. I would give my life and more for her should the need ever arise, as all her senshi would, but I did not wish to seek her hand.

By the time that I came to understand my feelings for the Moon Princess, the other senshi from the inner planets had arrived on the moon. Though we all came from different planets and _very_ different cultures, we all somehow became fast friends. I formed a bond with each of them that I could never have imagined upon our first meetings.

In the princess of Jupiter I found a sister soldier. What she lacked in finesse in the training yard she more than made up for in strength, determination, and a surprising intuition. I was always faster and more agile than she was, yet I could scarcely ever breach her defenses. She blocked my every assault as if she'd seen it coming before even I did. I can say with all do pride in my own abilities, that the Jovan princess was the greatest warrior on the Moon, if not in the solar system. Despite this, I would come to learn that as a woman, intimidating though she was, she was as gentle and soft as any lady of the court.

In the princess of Mercury, I found a priceless and most trustworthy confidant. Though shy in speech and in battle, for which I must admit I disliked her at first, in the pursuit of knowledge…not just knowledge, _truth,_ she had no equal. Sailor Mercury was the most intelligent mind of our time, but she did not suffer from the arrogance, or "logical" detachment that so many gifted with genius are afflicted with. She was kind, understanding and thoughtful. I learned early on that I could entrust to her my deepest secrets and concerns in complete confidence, and without being judged, and in return receive advice and wisdom well beyond her few short years.

And then, there was Venus. The princess of Venus was, at times, as insane as she was beautiful. I told her once, that she was insane. She simply smiled at me, before laughing and skipping away. That's the kind of response that I'd expect from a crazy person. I also once told her that she was beautiful. She said that she knew, then she kissed me on the lips, and told me that it was nice to hear me say it anyway. I was so shocked at the time that I found myself speechless for the first time in my life.

Sailor Venus was always an enigma of duality. In one moment she could seem as cheerful and carefree as the moon princess herself, but in an instant she could change, and appear to be as hardened a soldier as any admiral in my father's army. I challenged her for leadership of the senshi once, claiming she was unfit to lead, as she was half-naked and had a lampshade on her head at the time. I found my face on the floor in an instant, her weight on top of me and my arm securely pinned behind my back. She whispered a warning into my ear that I shudder to think of even now, and I never questioned her leadership again. Though in time, I would learn that there was never any reason to. I have followed her to hell, and I would again if she called me, for no army, great or small, has ever had a greater leader.

Shortly after I came to accept Princess Venus as our rightful leader, I came to accept her as my friend, just as the others had. Her charm was undeniable, and even I could only resist it for so long. She still irked me though, because her favorite hobby was flirting. She was beautiful and charming, and she knew it and loved to flaunt it. She'd flirt with anyone, from men to women, from nobility to the servants. Her favorite partners for this dance however, were the other senshi and me. She seemed to derive great joy from getting a rise out of any of us, whether it be making poor Mercury blush from ear to ear, or inspiring Jupiter to sock her in the arm so hard it left a mark for days. Serenity found this hilarious. I just found it annoying.

And then, one bright and sunny day as I was meditating alone in the gardens, she came across me and decided it would be great fun to disturb my meditations. She began flirting with me so shamelessly and lecherously that I simply could not ignore her, and so I did the first thing that came to mind. I flirted back. I expected this to surprise her. I expected my entirely uncharacteristic response to shock her and trip her up, leaving her not knowing what to do next. I did not expect to end up in an increasingly heated flirting match that eventually resulted in the loss of my virginity, in the middle of a garden, in broad daylight, on the moon. That day, the princess of Venus and I became lovers.

Sex with the self proclaimed goddess of love was everything I had imagined love would be. Even being near her would spark a fire in me that would burn and grow until it consumed me and set my passion ablaze. Not a day went by that I did not take her into my arms and revel in every moment we were together. Every touch, every breath, every sweet, seductive word she uttered intoxicated me and drew me deeper and deeper into her beautiful blue eyes.

Then, one day, some weeks after our first encounter in the garden, Venus found me meditating once more, in the same spot as before. I sensed her presence before she spoke, and fully expected to feel her slender arms wrap around me from behind, slipping into my robes and seeking to draw my focus away from my meditation to other things. Instead, she sat down beside me, and remained there quietly for some time. When she finally spoke, it was to ask me a simple question. She asked me if I loved her.

I was…surprised. Not by the question itself, but by the simple answer that immediately presented itself to me. It was true that we had never said it. I had never, in all our passionate embraces, told her I loved her, nor she I. Somehow I had simply assumed that the emotion was there, or would grow in time. It hadn't. I hesitated to answer, but my silence was clearly enough for her. She told me then, of an event from her past on Venus, a subject that I only then realized she rarely ever discussed.

She told me that she had once gone to the Oracle of Venus. She had asked her one and only question and peered into the oracle's eyes, despite her mother's warning, in order to catch a glimpse of her future. To sneak a peak at her soul mate, whomever they might be. What she saw there was herself….alone….forever. Upon finishing her story, the princess of Venus daintily kissed me on the cheek, got up, and walked away.

I had never wanted to cry so badly in all of my life. Not only for my friend, whom I knew was no longer my lover, but for myself as well. I was afraid. Historically, the senshi were not known to marry, or have children. Being a princess, a guardian, a diplomat, and a soldier left little time for romantic pursuits, and made relating to just about anyone other than the other senshi very, very difficult. Though I knew it was selfish, when I finally cried it was not for my former lover and her pitiable fate. It was for fear that the destiny that she had seen for herself in the eyes of the oracle was my destiny as well.

I had never cried in front of anyone but my mother for as long as I could remember, and even that had been long ago, but I didn't want to be alone. The very last thing in the world that I wanted in that moment was to be all alone, fearing that I would feel that way for the rest of my days.

When I found the one I sought, my friend and confidant, she was reading a book that looked to be as heavy as she was. The text was instantly forgotten when she saw me. She looked shocked. I had run straight from the garden, crying the whole way and tripping more than once. I must have looked like a complete mess. She came to me and put her arms around me, leading me over to the large, cushioned bench on which she had been reading and sat me down. I don't know how long she held me as I cried. I cried for myself, and my former lover. I cried for the friend who held me now, and the friend who was likely sitting in the training hall wondering why I hadn't yet come for the sparring match we had arranged.

When I finally regained some control of myself, she asked me what was wrong. I didn't answer, and she didn't ask again. She let me stay in her arms, no longer crying, but still trying to compose myself. When I finally sat up straight, she looked at me with questioning eyes, but remained silent. I didn't know what to say. Venus and I had kept our relationship a secret, though to this day I'm not quite sure why. I didn't want to try to explain something I didn't fully understand myself, nor did I want to admit that I had been crying because I was afraid. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find the words I needed.

After several moments of searching, I opened my eyes, and asked her if she was ever afraid of being alone. She hesitated a moment, before nodding slightly. And then….she kissed me. She leaned forward, pressed her lips gently to mine for just a brief moment, then pulled away with a small smile on her lips.

"I am afraid of being alone sometimes, but not when I'm with you."

I was, for only the second time in my life, speechless. All of the sudden I didn't feel alone anymore, nor was I excited or anxious. I simply felt…at peace. Of course, I always felt this way when I was with her. She was my trusted confidant after all, the friend that I confided in. She was the one whom I came to when I needed advice, or just needed to talk. It had never occurred to me until that moment that perhaps love was not a fire than burned inside you until it consumed you, as the Martian poets had always said. Perhaps, for me at least, love was a sense of peace and serenity the likes of which I only now realized I had never known before coming to the moon…before meeting her.

When I leaned forward and kissed her back, she put her hand in mine and clasped it gently. This kiss was just as gentle and chaste as the one she had given me, but it lingered for some time. When we broke apart, there was no passionate sex, or sensual touching, or even a deeper kiss. She simply blushed and smiled at me, still holding my hand. In that moment, that was all that I needed.

No, love is not a fire the likes of which Venus ignited in me. Love is calm waters that surround me, sooth me, and comfort me no matter whether I am in the thralls of elation or the depths of despair. Love is kind, gentle and understanding. Love, my love, is a perfect sense of serenity. My love has beautiful blue hair, sparkling blue eyes, a soft gentle smile, and the cutest butt this side of the Milky Way.

My memories fade as it becomes more difficult to stay awake. My love, is lying beside me now. She looks to be sleeping so peacefully, but I know that is not the case. She's smiling that soft gentle smile of hers. She smiled when I took her hand, and told her that I loved her. I know she wanted to answer back, but all she could do was close her eyes and smile as her final breath escaped her. The world is quite literally falling apart around us, but all I see is her. I want to brush away the hair that has fallen messily into her face, but I can't move my other arm, and I refuse to let go of her hand, just in case somewhere, somehow she can still feel my touch.

Even now, as my vision begins to fade to black, I feel at peace with her beside me, her hand in mine. I feel at peace because I know that nothing so simple as the end of the world can be enough to keep us apart. I will find her again one day. Whether it be tomorrow, or a thousand years from now. I swear with my final breath, with all that I am, that I will find my love again. One day…


End file.
